Wednesday, August 16, 2006

#@$%&


"Thou shalt not take the Lord thy God's name in vain." But don't you want to sometimes? Like when you are driving anywhere in the Metro Detroit area. I concluded just this morning that almost everyone on the road is out to get me and it stems from the fact that I am an excellent driver and they are not. Going from point A to point B should not be that frustrating! So I have been wondering why I get so frustrated and angry with people and situations. I am reading The Enigma of Anger by Garret Keizer. This is one angry man who is very insightful about the different sides of anger. Anyway, he talks about the exclamation, "God damn it." Here is what he says...

"But with those angry words we move to another level of religious meaning. The angry person who invokes the name of God is acknowledging that the source of his frustration runs contrary to an expectation of divine benevolence. In other words, the world ought to work better. There ought to be figs on this tree. There ought to be some force, some angel, that prevents hammers from accidentally crushing thumbs. At the very least, it insists that the source of our frustration is within the control of a greater power - and a good one."

Keizer has penned exactly what I feel. When I get frustrated and things are not as they should be, I respond with an acknowledgement of God rather than wondering if He is even there. However, my acknowledgement of God is that if this is the way things work, then he can take those things back because I don't want them. It struck me that I go off because I don't like the way things are and I have higher expectations of my experiences, that I deserve better. It's like I feel entitled to a life of everything working out my way and when it doesn't, "God, damn it, because I don't want it." I'm like the child who screams at his mother, "You don't love me!" yet at the same time knowing the opposite is likely true and desperate for any attention he can get from the mother he is yelling at. A line in the song, Sweet Rose, by Matt Costa goes, "I'd like to say no one always gets their way." Simple, true, and annoying. I think sometimes the struggles of life are boiled down to checking yourself in those moments when you don't get your way and then you realize how truly immature you really are. The reality for me, is that I have no right to damn anything because I am not above it in the first place. So tomorrow, on my drive to school, I am going to acknowledge that God has "blessed" my trip by allowing me to experience its cussed existence.

4 comments:

Matt said...

So this morning on my way to school a guy on his phone cut me off so as I passed him on the freeway I looked toward him and said loudly (like he could hear me) "bless you."

denverherbie said...

was it, "Bless you as a fellow brother created in God's image." Or "GOD BLESS YOU! you person that God might have had something to do with!" :)

My anger seems to be coming from the lack of ease of life lately. Everything from the day to day rabble (seriously, slow drivers to the right, not the left. This isn't England) to the more complicated areas such as marriage, my job, our social life, et cetera. It all seems to require so much effort.

That's where I get stuck with God. Unless I missed something, God's not really in the business of making our life easier--that's not really his style. And of course, my first world woes probably echo little with anyone facing an actual crisis. So I'm left with wanting to pray, "God, please make this easier," but I can't actually make those words come out of my mouth without feeling like a spoiled child that only has one pony. And yet knowing that none of this is going to solve itself, I'm not left with many options except anger or God.

mmmmm.... To whom shall I go? (justing bringing it full circle so Milty's is well represented!)

Matt said...

If you would like, I would be happy to give you my pony becasue I'm not a big fan of horses.

Actually, I echo you sentiment. I would also add that not only should God make my life easier, but he should grant me my way as well. I think I may post a part 2 to this line of thinking... how's that for building anticipation!

denverherbie said...

If you post a Part 2, you'll be more popular than Tony Danza!