Waving the White Flag

Today I preached to 4 adults and 1 child. Afterwards, I talked to Joe (it took me a while to find him in the crowd). The congregation (the five there and one more who would meet them later along with the denominational guy in charge) met today to decide the future of the church. After talking to the really old woman for about 10 minutes (conversation consisting of, "You remind me of my grandson. That's why I like you. My daughter wants me to move down south. It's were I belong." Repeat exact conversation 5 times), I got to Joe. With tears in his eyes, he said that there really is not much of a decision to be made. The church can't survive. I am not sure how much longer they are going to hang on, but I will stick with them to the end.

I have always felt that if a church is not moving people into a deeper relationship with Christ and effectively reaching its community then it needs to seriously consider whether or not it should continue. I think alot of pastors do not have a calling on their lives and they are either relieved that they made it through another day or fake it successfully. It would not be a bad think for many churched to close their doors for the last time. However, as I have watched Joe and talked to the other 4-5 people at this little church, I have seen the other side. I still believe that we have to be thoughtful of how we fit into the greater kingdom scope, but people who have served faithfully in a church all their lives have a difficult time letting go. There is so much emotion and hurt in considering closing down a church. Let's be honest, who is going to be there at the bitter end? The ones who have been there for almost as long as they have been alive. This church is closing; there is no way around that. It is a good thing it is closing; it's not right for them to continue this way. What they need is love and compassion. And I am just the guy for the job (to be read with great sarcasm). I am not the most sensitive person when it comes to this. Why God has put me in this position suggests an oversight on His part (ok, maybe he sees more of the picture than me). Honestly, I think he put me there for that very reason - to see the reality of what many churches face and how to go about doing the right thing in a way that is full of grace.

Catching Toads

How do my girls catch toads? With butterfly nets of course! This morning, Allison and Hannah brought me a toad in their butterfly net. They didn't want to touch the toads so they improvised. Hannah thought it was hilarious when the toad tried climbing up the side of the net and then fell back down. They captured four toads and spent the rest of the day catching bugs, spiders, and flies. We looked for information on the internet as to what they typically eat and found that one toad can eat up to 1000 bugs a day. Sherri told them to get busy because they needed to find 4000 bugs in order to keep the toads in their small cage. The good news for any PETA members is that the girls were convinced to participate in a catch and release program. As far as I know, the toads have been set free.

Tony Danza (aka #@$%& Pt. 2)

Been thinking about the whole "God damn it" is comparable to "God take this back 'cause I don't want it" idea. I don't know anyone who saunters through life with the, nothin' but blue skies I can see clearly now the rain is gone attitude (shout out to Geoff Moore, you know, Beth's husband). I do know people who don't understand what is going on in their lives and they make choices about how to deal with that confusion. I am sure there are a plethora of ways people choose to respond but here are a few...

1. God doesn't exist
   
2. God exists but doesn't care
   
3. God exists and is vindictive
   
4. God exists and is good
   
5. God exists but does not consult me on future plans thus he is more concerned about his plans than my plans

I believe the first three are ruled out. The fourth is the right answer but not always (in fact often not) the perceived reality. The last one seems to be the most accurate description of my experience and I also think that there is much truth in it (although simplified). So looking at number 5, I see two responses. First, acceptance and trust that he really does know more than me and that he has my best in mind based on an eternal perspective. The second and more natural response is like returning a gift you received for your birthday. I really don't want this, it doesn't fit me, I'd rather have the money, I want a different color, etc. Essentially we reject the "gift." Not long ago, I got a gift from someone (who shall remain anonymous) and I acted like a child throwing a fit. Why? Because I already had one and it wasn't what I wanted. I was angry that someone would be so insensitive to give me something that they thought I should have rather than something that was within their power to give that I wanted. You can even ask Sherri (but please don't because she doesn't need to be reminded how immature I can be) how incredibly angry and stupid I was. What's the point? God gives us what he believes we should have rather than what we want even though it is within his authority to give us exactly what we want. When God does this, my default setting is, "I don't want it, take it back" (the kinder more gentler why of saying, "God, damn it").

My epiphany: When I respond with, "I don't want it, take it back" it is no different than taking God's name in vain.

So the question I have to ask when we get down to the very bottom of everything, in the word's of Tony Danza is, "Who's the boss?" If I can humble myself for just a second, then I can acknowledge that he really does know more than me and does have my best in mind perceived through the eyes of eternity.

#@$%&

"Thou shalt not take the Lord thy God's name in vain." But don't you want to sometimes? Like when you are driving anywhere in the Metro Detroit area. I concluded just this morning that almost everyone on the road is out to get me and it stems from the fact that I am an excellent driver and they are not. Going from point A to point B should not be that frustrating! So I have been wondering why I get so frustrated and angry with people and situations. I am reading The Enigma of Anger by Garret Keizer. This is one angry man who is very insightful about the different sides of anger. Anyway, he talks about the exclamation, "God damn it." Here is what he says...

"But with those angry words we move to another level of religious meaning. The angry person who invokes the name of God is acknowledging that the source of his frustration runs contrary to an expectation of divine benevolence. In other words, the world ought to work better. There ought to be figs on this tree. There ought to be some force, some angel, that prevents hammers from accidentally crushing thumbs. At the very least, it insists that the source of our frustration is within the control of a greater power - and a good one."

Keizer has penned exactly what I feel. When I get frustrated and things are not as they should be, I respond with an acknowledgement of God rather than wondering if He is even there. However, my acknowledgement of God is that if this is the way things work, then he can take those things back because I don't want them. It struck me that I go off because I don't like the way things are and I have higher expectations of my experiences, that I deserve better. It's like I feel entitled to a life of everything working out my way and when it doesn't, "God, damn it, because I don't want it." I'm like the child who screams at his mother, "You don't love me!" yet at the same time knowing the opposite is likely true and desperate for any attention he can get from the mother he is yelling at. A line in the song, Sweet Rose, by Matt Costa goes, "I'd like to say no one always gets their way." Simple, true, and annoying. I think sometimes the struggles of life are boiled down to checking yourself in those moments when you don't get your way and then you realize how truly immature you really are. The reality for me, is that I have no right to damn anything because I am not above it in the first place. So tomorrow, on my drive to school, I am going to acknowledge that God has "blessed" my trip by allowing me to experience its cussed existence.

Chad Vader

I found these on a friends blog. Brilliant. Enjoy.

Where to Draw the Line

Lately I have been filling the pulpit at a church on Sunday mornings. It is a church that is dying, both figuratively and literally. I went into this knowing only that it was a small church unable to support a full time pastor so I really didn't know what to expect. On a good day, I preach to 12 people including women and children (actually, there is only one other male other than me and he is in his mid 70's). Their plan is to disband in the next few months and they would like me to stick with them until they do so. So, today I got to church and Joe said that he was sorry and that only one of the 5 main regulars was going to show up and even she was questionable (they had various reasons that were relatively legit). Joe barely got the sentence out without breaking down. Joe was born into that church and has been serving faithfully throughout his whole life. Anyway, the one other elderly woman showed up and then one more. Joe said to me, Aileen, and Dorthy that I shouldn't waste my sermon on just the three of them and wait til next week for the rest of the crew. Here's what I've been thinking about all day... How few is too few and is there such a thing as a "wasted" sermon on anyone? I know the simplistic answer, when two or three are gathered... but I am looking for something deeper. I have friends who feel that preaching to a small handful of dying people is crazy and wouldn't do it, possibly legitimately so. Most everything inside me says that these people, regardless of how painful it might be, need to call it a day and throw in the towel now. However, there is one little part of me that wonders if I (or we) tend to dismiss people and churches like this out of pride and arrogance. Honestly, isn't it a waste of time and giftedness? Shouldn't someone like me be preaching to at least an average sized church? I have preached in a church of 2000, today, it was a church of about two (and I didn't end up preaching at all, which worked out because Joe said with great sadness that he couldn't pay me this week anyway on account of a large gas bill and an insurance payment). In the midst of growth strategy and mega-churches, have we become calloused to the least of these? Where is the line between pride and good stewardship with the resources God entrusts us (not to mention this churches limited resources)?

Dancing Queen

Sometimes you go out for a show and sometimes you stay in for a show. Last night we had some friends over, ate dinner, and then just hung out and talked. At one point during the evening, Hannah came into the family room and served us fruit snacks out of a bowl. It is so nice to see her practicing for her career at Hooters. Allison put in her Sheryl Crow CD and then proceeded to sing and dance to Soak up the Sun. This is when Josh entered wearing the attractive yet casual pink tutu. I kind of think he looks a little like Julie Andrews in his ballet outfit. Unfortunately, pictures cannot do justice to his performance. He was spinning wildly throughout the entire song and every so often stumbled and fell into various objects (I wasn't sure if he was drunk or had a stroke). Every time he fell, he got up and said, "I ok mommy." We laughed till tears were flowing.

A Story in Pictures

Just got back from our westward-ho. I thought I'd post a few pictures of our trip. My thoughts will follow at a later date (if any of these confuse you or you have questions, go ahead and ask me).